Wiser, but More Unsure

A thought: History is a rope in which strands are woven and overlapped to produce something that becomes longer and greater. Certain ideologies, concepts, beliefs, and traditions are passed down and conjoined with the next generation, or even into another culture.

Going through some old files on my laptop (my brother hasn't stopped talking about his recent read about tidying up and has clearly infected me), I stumbled across an old essay I had written in my freshman year of college. It was about model heroes and compared examples from The Iliad and The Aeneid and The Consolation of Philosophy; but it was the intro that I had written that caught me off guard. Was that me?? Had I really written those words that sounded like it came from someone wiser and more sure of the world?

Some say as you get older, you become wiser. Some say that as they get older, they become more unsure of things. So which is it? As I start actually becoming interested in learning about our economy and the stock market and real estate and personal finance, about political figures and what each person's vote does for big decisions (Brexit anyone?), about gay rights and police brutality... I find myself becoming more and more confused about this world we inhabit. Black and white becomes gray and lines become blurred and the thing is, I don't think I'm alone. I meet loads of people these days that are completely lost about what their career path should be, what their 10-year plan is (let alone 5-year plans), or even who they are. My answer to them (and to myself) is, "That's ok. You'll figure it out. All in God's timing." But it's frustrating.

Not knowing if you're where you're "supposed to be," wondering if you're being the best person you could be, and thinking about the implications of your current decisions is pretty paralyzing. Then I start thinking about all the blessings in my life. I think about my family and our health. I think about God's love in providing a soon-to-be husband in my life. I think about how I enjoy going to work these days. I think about my awesome community group that has continued to grow over the past year and the pals that have stuck with me through the thick and thin... And I become thankful. I need regular reminders, though, because it's a cursed cycle. You fall into a period of fear and then you (hopefully) push through to the period of gratitude. We really are creatures of habit I suppose.

SO... maybe it's the same thing. Maybe becoming wiser means realizing there is so much that is not understood in this world and therefore humility sets in. Maybe that humility is a building block of wisdom. At least that's what I can surmise so far.

Hello, Old Friend

It's time. After a very long hiatus, I realized that A) When people ask me what my hobbies are, I have no quick answer and B) There's so much valuable information to be paid forward when one goes through wedding planning. For those main reasons, I've decided to return to blogging. You know, so I can answer "Oh, blogging is one," when people ask me what I do in my spare time. #grownuplife.

But yes, the real impetus was just how much talent I was coming across when searching for wedding vendors. First of all, I am a big fan of small business and entrepreneurship. My parents have owned their own business pretty much all my life, I aspire to call a business my own someday, and I currently lead a group at my church which gathers small business owners to talk about their journeys and thoughts. Did I say I'm a fan of entrepreneurship? When American Express started their Shop Small campaign with Small Business Saturday being a thing, I jumped on board AND tried to drive the party bus.

With that said, I wanted to pass on information about some exceptional vendors I came across (or was referred to by friends/family), whether I decided to go with them for my own wedding or not. First up, Atomic Tangerine! I met Noah while working at the Silverlake Farmer's Market and he was so congenial. He said he had just gotten back from a wedding video shoot in New York and I was instantly interested. Though I knew I would probably be going with another videographer (that's for the next post) who is a good friend from high school, I still wanted to see what his work was all about. What I think is so creative and fun about Atomic Tangerine is that they make "wedding music videos." That's exactly what Noah called it. The videos are stylized, fun, and something you could keep on loop at a party just like a music video! Speaking of music videos, apparently their work has been featured on VH1.

So, if you've ever wanted to be featured in a music video and you think your wedding day is good cause to finally check that off the bucket list, give these guys a call/email/tweet/poke/whatever people call it these days. Au revoir!